hello blog, it sure has been a while. nice to see you.
so these days, i have not been blogging. i have been sewing more, and fishing, and spending life outside my walls. my father passed away in march, on easter sunday. so since his sudden death i have in a small way wanted to live more. so i reallized that i need to take it day by day and not plan out anything...EVER.
i have been thinking about my father alot the last couple weeks. i miss him a whole lot. i have no one to call in the middle of the night anymore. and i have no more coffee buddy. i have no one there for me as far as family is concerned. my mother has never played a very active part in my life. my dad was always there for me. i don't know. i just really miss him. i miss his voice, his laugh and everything about my dad. he was my best friend. it has been since easter, and it is still making me
cry to think of him or look at a pic of him. if anything reminds me of him, i lose it. but not out loud, i keep it to myself. i don't want anyone to see it. i don't know why, maybe if i actually embraced the greiving, then it would be less hard on me. i don't know. i just feel like talking about it, that's all. simply stated, i really miss my father. the end.
in other news....
i have been a slacker on finishing my website. i have had too many busy days and not enough free time to get'r'done. i apologize.
and i think i'm gonna go et another cup of coffee and go relax. my eyes are all welled up, so i have to go take it easy.
peace.
jean
Monday, July 28, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
new tattoo, new outlook
new tattoo, new outlook on my days in a sense.
i decided to be brave, and sit through a 2 hour long tattoo session last saturday.
originally, it was just getting some lyrics i love on me. but the more i thought about it, it means more than that to me. i think that is why i connect with the lyrics so much so to have them permantley imprinted in my flesh. so here is my new ink blot.
close up image...to get a better view.
"if i knew all the words, i'd write myself out of here."
one of the favorite songs i have, 0% interest, by jason mraz.
now all of his words and songs are good. but these particular lyrics stick out to me. i think in a way everyone can relate to it. but if you know me personally, you then know why i chose them. with all the stuff that has gone on in the last 29 yrs, (well nearly, i'll be 29 on 8-23) it was appropriate for me. and many people are like, "wow! it's rad!" and some are more like " a mraz tattoo...wow!"
i honestly don't care if people approve of what choices i make and how i decide to live my life. the point is, we all have the oppurtunity to think for ourselves these days. and while most of the world keeps there minds and eyes sealed air tight from the goings on in the world we live in....i do not! nor have i ever. i know what the real world is like and if you choose to go day to day worrying about what others might say/think about you...then prepare for much un-needed stress and drama in your sad lives. i personally am happy with every choice i have ever made. even the silly ones.
live as it is a learning experience, so be your own best teacher.
that's what i am striving to do. it only took 28 yrs to learn that, but i finally figured it out. and i'm finally happy with myself.
so go on and not like my tattoos, i honestly don't care.
and now i'm out to get some coffee and chores done!
peace,
jderby
i decided to be brave, and sit through a 2 hour long tattoo session last saturday.
originally, it was just getting some lyrics i love on me. but the more i thought about it, it means more than that to me. i think that is why i connect with the lyrics so much so to have them permantley imprinted in my flesh. so here is my new ink blot.
close up image...to get a better view.
"if i knew all the words, i'd write myself out of here."
one of the favorite songs i have, 0% interest, by jason mraz.
now all of his words and songs are good. but these particular lyrics stick out to me. i think in a way everyone can relate to it. but if you know me personally, you then know why i chose them. with all the stuff that has gone on in the last 29 yrs, (well nearly, i'll be 29 on 8-23) it was appropriate for me. and many people are like, "wow! it's rad!" and some are more like " a mraz tattoo...wow!"
i honestly don't care if people approve of what choices i make and how i decide to live my life. the point is, we all have the oppurtunity to think for ourselves these days. and while most of the world keeps there minds and eyes sealed air tight from the goings on in the world we live in....i do not! nor have i ever. i know what the real world is like and if you choose to go day to day worrying about what others might say/think about you...then prepare for much un-needed stress and drama in your sad lives. i personally am happy with every choice i have ever made. even the silly ones.
live as it is a learning experience, so be your own best teacher.
that's what i am striving to do. it only took 28 yrs to learn that, but i finally figured it out. and i'm finally happy with myself.
so go on and not like my tattoos, i honestly don't care.
and now i'm out to get some coffee and chores done!
peace,
jderby
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