memories come flooding back

hello blog, it sure has been a while. nice to see you.

so these days, i have not been blogging. i have been sewing more, and fishing, and spending life outside my walls. my father passed away in march, on easter sunday. so since his sudden death i have in a small way wanted to live more. so i reallized that i need to take it day by day and not plan out anything...EVER.

i have been thinking about my father alot the last couple weeks. i miss him a whole lot. i have no one to call in the middle of the night anymore. and i have no more coffee buddy. i have no one there for me as far as family is concerned. my mother has never played a very active part in my life. my dad was always there for me. i don't know. i just really miss him. i miss his voice, his laugh and everything about my dad. he was my best friend. it has been since easter, and it is still making me
cry to think of him or look at a pic of him. if anything reminds me of him, i lose it. but not out loud, i keep it to myself. i don't want anyone to see it. i don't know why, maybe if i actually embraced the greiving, then it would be less hard on me. i don't know. i just feel like talking about it, that's all. simply stated, i really miss my father. the end.


in other news....

i have been a slacker on finishing my website. i have had too many busy days and not enough free time to get'r'done. i apologize.

and i think i'm gonna go et another cup of coffee and go relax. my eyes are all welled up, so i have to go take it easy.

peace.
jean