about a month ago, my fam and i took a 4 hour road trip to the poconos in PA. the purpose of this trip was not a 'joy'ride, we were traveling to say goodbye. my husband's grandfather has had cancer for a long time. he has been a fighter all along. he was a great old man, the nicest guy i have ever met. he will be missed.
sunday night, we recieved word that he passed away. he said he was 'ready to go' to his daughter. then called his son and said 'thanks for being my son' then went to sleep for the last time. he was 89, and lived a full life. he was a great dad and grandfather and even a great grandfather. so, rephrasing the previous stated...he will be remembered in our hearts.
but the way i see it, it's not the end. i believe in reincarnation a bit,call me crazy, but i feel his soul will be born into another. he will be back.
i know that everything has to end, and this too shall pass. blah blah blah....
it's just a sad day in NY. my love goes out to the PA Derby's. sorry for the loss.
love to you all from us up here and see you soon.
take care till then...
im out
jean derby
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
cloudy daze
i'm sitting here looking out my window. it is very cloudy. i am packaging up a guitar strap i finished. i'm getting use to giving things to people. i don't mind it. i enjoy giving more than receiving. what can i say. lol...sounded bad there.
i don't do it to get anything in return, i enjoy making things and seeing them used. and when a friend enjoys them, it's even better to see. i guess i am just weird. i enjoy sharing what i do. if i didn't what's the point of it all?
kinda like you singing a song in an empty room...nobody hears it.
i have the best coffee this morning. i made the brew perfectly. so proud of myself.
also, as for last night, i suffered a 5 minute nicotine relapse at work, but i'm reading alan carr's book now. so it's all good. i also have some other things to change in my life...but kicking the butt is first. haha that was my joke of the day.
oh well. i had intentions of making a huge insightful blog, but i have given up. not till my brain is inspired will i get that done. i am at least getting the "blogging more" done.
i think i'm gonna mozy on down to the post office, and i'm not taking the car!
so there! how you like me now?!
also, my friend at work is going to give me guitar lessons. for ten bucks a week. woo! she is doing it bc she feels sad that ive owned the thing 2 yrs, and only know 5 chords. so she is going to school me. then i can do what i want to do when i'm not sewing. because honestly? do you think 30 is too old to go get a dream?
i promised my dad i'd try it. so i'm getting off my tuckus and doing it.
so....i'm out........
i don't do it to get anything in return, i enjoy making things and seeing them used. and when a friend enjoys them, it's even better to see. i guess i am just weird. i enjoy sharing what i do. if i didn't what's the point of it all?
kinda like you singing a song in an empty room...nobody hears it.
i have the best coffee this morning. i made the brew perfectly. so proud of myself.
also, as for last night, i suffered a 5 minute nicotine relapse at work, but i'm reading alan carr's book now. so it's all good. i also have some other things to change in my life...but kicking the butt is first. haha that was my joke of the day.
oh well. i had intentions of making a huge insightful blog, but i have given up. not till my brain is inspired will i get that done. i am at least getting the "blogging more" done.
i think i'm gonna mozy on down to the post office, and i'm not taking the car!
so there! how you like me now?!
also, my friend at work is going to give me guitar lessons. for ten bucks a week. woo! she is doing it bc she feels sad that ive owned the thing 2 yrs, and only know 5 chords. so she is going to school me. then i can do what i want to do when i'm not sewing. because honestly? do you think 30 is too old to go get a dream?
i promised my dad i'd try it. so i'm getting off my tuckus and doing it.
so....i'm out........
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
thoughts on my mind
so today i decided to attempt not smoking. i really hope to accomplish this goal. i'd hate to leave my children behind because of a dumb habit i began to "try to be cool" because honestly, i'm not any cooler with cigarettes. i'm just me, plain old jean derby. like it or not, here i am.
alot of things have been on my mind these days. in reference to children, camden, my son is 7 now. a first grader, who is smarter than i am. he is the best kid even though he does the little boy things that annoy the hell out of me. i love him alot. he is a smart, artistic, sensitive, caring, sweet little boy. i have done a good job raising him this long. and he is going to grow up to be a good man i believe. such a good kid.
since the school year began, he has made many friends. there is one boy, whom will be left nameless, that isn't raised as well. he walks about a mile or more to and from school daily, at the age of 7 all alone! this makes me feel sad. i don't know why anyone would let little kids walk alone these days. don't these parents watch the news? or they are just too oblivious to the it all to think it could ever be there child??
i don't get it. so i have volunteered myself as the little boys driver. i take him home every afternoon when i pick my son up. it was kind of sad when he tells me "my mommy doesn't want to come get me. she wants to use her computer, and stay home...i don't know why"
he has grown attached to camden and myself. and you can see the sadness inside this little boys eyes. it really bothers me. i wish i could help him be happier. but all i can do is make sure he gets home safe. i think since i have my own to look after, it makes me very sad to see people with children that don't do it like me. i know everyone is different. but why would you want a little boy to think you don't care?
the first grade class my son and his friend are in put on a show for earth day. this child's parents aren't involved in his school life either. i am always at functions and shows, and things he does. i was raised in the home where the parent "could care less" and i had alot of things happen in my childhood as a direct result of my mom's own parenting. as did my sister, but i am still shocked to see people do this to a kid. if a child at seven feels no one cares, then what does that say for his future?
will he even have one? and will he have problems in life as a result of the parenting he has now? it really makes me bothered. i don't know why. just does.
i think there are so many kids in the world without homes and parents. the people who have children take advantage of it. i may get driven crazy by my kids, but i cannot imagine them not in my life. i'd do anything for them. so many people don't get what a gift they have been given, and it is just very sad to me to watch it. to watch a kid grow up questioning his mother's love for him, makes me sad indeed.
moving on.....
ashlyn has discovered the velcro on her diapers. so all week, she has also been discovering the potty...lol
and she is doing well. i haven't done the whole training thing in a while. so i'm a tad bit rusty, and she is nothing like camden. she has attitude. cam was always mellow.it has taken some time to get use to. but she's a female, she's allowed to have a 'tude when she wants. ya know?
also, i am working nights now. and volunteering at an animal shelter once in a while. so i am good as well. busy.
so thats whats new this way.i have to hit the showers now. then make lunch and run some errands before picking up the boys. so sorry for rambling on and on, but that's how i vent. and the not smoking is giving me time to think, and makes me want to type it all down. so there ya go.
take care and have a loveley day.
alot of things have been on my mind these days. in reference to children, camden, my son is 7 now. a first grader, who is smarter than i am. he is the best kid even though he does the little boy things that annoy the hell out of me. i love him alot. he is a smart, artistic, sensitive, caring, sweet little boy. i have done a good job raising him this long. and he is going to grow up to be a good man i believe. such a good kid.
since the school year began, he has made many friends. there is one boy, whom will be left nameless, that isn't raised as well. he walks about a mile or more to and from school daily, at the age of 7 all alone! this makes me feel sad. i don't know why anyone would let little kids walk alone these days. don't these parents watch the news? or they are just too oblivious to the it all to think it could ever be there child??
i don't get it. so i have volunteered myself as the little boys driver. i take him home every afternoon when i pick my son up. it was kind of sad when he tells me "my mommy doesn't want to come get me. she wants to use her computer, and stay home...i don't know why"
he has grown attached to camden and myself. and you can see the sadness inside this little boys eyes. it really bothers me. i wish i could help him be happier. but all i can do is make sure he gets home safe. i think since i have my own to look after, it makes me very sad to see people with children that don't do it like me. i know everyone is different. but why would you want a little boy to think you don't care?
the first grade class my son and his friend are in put on a show for earth day. this child's parents aren't involved in his school life either. i am always at functions and shows, and things he does. i was raised in the home where the parent "could care less" and i had alot of things happen in my childhood as a direct result of my mom's own parenting. as did my sister, but i am still shocked to see people do this to a kid. if a child at seven feels no one cares, then what does that say for his future?
will he even have one? and will he have problems in life as a result of the parenting he has now? it really makes me bothered. i don't know why. just does.
i think there are so many kids in the world without homes and parents. the people who have children take advantage of it. i may get driven crazy by my kids, but i cannot imagine them not in my life. i'd do anything for them. so many people don't get what a gift they have been given, and it is just very sad to me to watch it. to watch a kid grow up questioning his mother's love for him, makes me sad indeed.
moving on.....
ashlyn has discovered the velcro on her diapers. so all week, she has also been discovering the potty...lol
and she is doing well. i haven't done the whole training thing in a while. so i'm a tad bit rusty, and she is nothing like camden. she has attitude. cam was always mellow.it has taken some time to get use to. but she's a female, she's allowed to have a 'tude when she wants. ya know?
also, i am working nights now. and volunteering at an animal shelter once in a while. so i am good as well. busy.
so thats whats new this way.i have to hit the showers now. then make lunch and run some errands before picking up the boys. so sorry for rambling on and on, but that's how i vent. and the not smoking is giving me time to think, and makes me want to type it all down. so there ya go.
take care and have a loveley day.
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